Why people have affairs?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be filled with evils, cause sorrow, and other troubles. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, finances, age dissimilarity, faith education, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating for married.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned mostly though it is just the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone can turn the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your relatives or anybody else? You would need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest group, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the man is sexually neglecting his lady for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is vanished, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just developed apart, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.